Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
