the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
