We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
