Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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