taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
