im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
