I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
