im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
