i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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