Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
