My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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