u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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