Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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