I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
