ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
