nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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