she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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