Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
