Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
