hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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