Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
