I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
