Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
operation have a gay friend backfired
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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