Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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