apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
