So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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