i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My vagina is very pro this idea
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
