3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
