my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
