girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
