She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
