So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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