Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
