i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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