y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
