Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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