If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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