he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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