Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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