New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
