id be glad to
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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