There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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