I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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