Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
