I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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