he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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