I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
