I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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