The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
