Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
