hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
